The Importance of Self-love for an Independent and Happy Individual

Wednesday, 24 June 2020, BINUS Business School held a living room talk show through Zoom Cloud Meetings. Discussing the theme “A Deep Talk About Self-love and Healthy Relationships: Not All Wounds are Visible”, this talk show discussed the importance of self-love, especially the vital role that it plays in influencing relationships in social, educational, or even professional settings.

This talk show was opened by the Dean of BINUS Business School Masters Program, Dr. Rini Setiowati, S.E., M.B.A. She said that having the knowledge to build relevant relations between college life and the working world is very important. This refers to relationships that do not sacrifice academic and career aspects but instead builds them. All of that can start from learning to love yourself.

Dwiana Wahyudi, one of BINUS Business School Masters Program alumni, who is now a certified wedding facilitator and also a co-founder of Ai Organizer, whose work is very much in contact with couples who are looking to get married, along with Wulan Danoekoesoemo, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of Lentera Sintas Indonesia, an organization that helps victims and survivors of sexual abuse and Counseling Section Head of BINUS International were two spokespeople in this talk show.

Self-love means having the courage to forgive

The initial conversation in this talk show brought out an important first point in practicing self-love, which is having the courage to forgive yourself and other people. Having this courage does not just instantly happen, according to Dwiana. It needs a more in-depth self-recognition process and a long time to accept one’s own flaws.

It’s important not to be too hard on yourself. When you experience failure in education, career, or a relationship, be strong enough to look at the positive side of that failure and find peace with yourself. And most importantly, after you have the courage to forgive yourself, start to have the courage to get back up and learn from your past mistakes.

Self-love is assertive

Wulan also added another important point in self-love in an individual, which is understanding thoroughly the concept of self-love itself. Self-love does not mean selfishness. If someone takes action or makes a certain decision related to their future either for their own best interest emotionally, physically, or financially, it does not mean that they are selfish.

Self-love is being assertive or knowing one’s own character and accepting the conditions, able to control one’s self, even able to defend one’s self and one’s rights. At the same time, being assertive also means living by valuing and respecting other people. In other words, self-love is not only good for yourself, but it’s good for the people around us.

Assertiveness will help in many different life aspects, especially in building relations, either social or professional. Assertiveness will make you tolerate differences, respect different ideas in the workplace, and have the opportunity to have a wider network.

Self-love means having the courage to say “no”

Because self-love is assertive, you can openly refuse things that you feel are not in line with your principles and perspective, or that you feel right to do. Self-love gives you the courage to say “no” without being feared by others, be it family, friends, or colleagues in the workplace.

Practicing self-love can make you a professional in the workplace because it will make you value honesty in your work, avoid corrupt practices, and focus more on problem-solving instead of debating or complicating the situation.

Self-love is equal

This living room talk show concluded with emphasizing that self-love means remembering our self-worth. Realizing that you are equal to other people. Position in an organization or institution is just a title that refers to tasks and responsibilities.

By knowing yourself and understanding that you are an individual equal to other people, you may experience change when interacting with other people, whatever the person’s position. You should respect and tolerate the existing differences. Interaction filled with tolerance will create a conducive relationship, be it in a social, academic environment, or even in the workplace.

Wulan Danoekoesoemo concluded the talk show by emphasizing an important message. Keep in mind that the person who will be with you the longest is yourself, so start to appreciate yourself the right way, without harming or belittling others. “We need to feel good about ourselves and do good for ourselves,” added Dwiana Wahyudi.