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Reset a Work Relationship After a Disagreement

26 Feb 2020

shared by: Nugroho J. Setiadi, PhD

Orcid-ID: http://orcid.org/0000-0002-1864-0116

Left unchecked, even a small dispute with a colleague can spiral out of control, leading to anger and resentment. When things get tense, you might be tempted to pull away. But it’s far better to engage and try to reset. Immediately acknowledge the tension, and allow the other person (and yourself) room to air your differences, while expressing positivity about the future. For example, you might say: “I know that we’re not seeing eye to eye on this right now, and it is upsetting for both of us. But I’m optimistic we can work it out.” Then, set a meeting for a few days later, giving you both time to let your emotions cool. Even something as small as a short coffee break can help ease the tension. Lastly, remind your colleague that you care about the relationship and want to have more positive interactions in the future. This may help to keep your current conflict from contaminating the entire relationship.

This tip is adapted from “How to Mend a Work Relationship,” by Brianna Barker Caza, Mara Olekalns, and Timothy J. Vogus

 

Source:  Caza, B.B., Olekalns, M., & Vogus, T.J.  (2020). How to Mend a Work Relationship. Harvard Business Review.  From: https://hbr.org/2020/02/how-to-mend-a-work-relationship?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=mtod_notactsubs . Retrieved on Feb 25, 2020, 4:37 PM

Nugroho J. Setiadi, PhD
  1. Aji Sinta Prameswari Thu, 27 February 2020 at 13:20

    Aji Sinta Prameswari 2001541283 Berbeda pekerjaan maupun solusi dalam tim adalah tujuan untuk menyelesaikan suatu msalah/perkerjaan didalam sebuah tim, juga menghargai pendapat sesama dan tidak menolak solusi rekan kerja lain memperkuat sebuah hubungan dan mempercepat menyelesaikan sebuah masalah tim, karena menjadi pendengar yang baik dan pemberi solusi yang bijak dapat mempermudah hubungan didalam tim. Karena masalah bisa dari manapun tetapi hubungan sesama tim yang baik mempererat hubungan bukan didalam kerjaan melaikan dimanapun.

    Reply
  2. Nida Thu, 27 February 2020 at 13:36

    Nida - 2001624922 Tanggapan saya ialah tips diatas hanya berfokus pada sedikit tipe karakteristik manusia. Tidak boleh dilupakan, setiap manusia mempunyai tingkat emosional masing-masing yang belum tentu dapat beradaptasi dengan solusi tersebut. Dan apabila tidak ada kesamaan niat untuk menjaga hubungan antar satu sama lain maka hal tersebut akan percuma.

    Reply
  3. ANAK AGUNG LANANG HARTAWIGUNA RUDITA Thu, 27 February 2020 at 13:59

    ANAK AGUNG LANANG HARTAWIGUNA RUDITA (2001561972) I agree about a short coffee break can ease up the tension/conflict at the meetings. Before it coming out of hand, cooling our emotion and expressing our disagreements through a positive manner and straightforward will help avoiding future conflicts.

    Reply
  4. Mohammad Rakhel Rahadian Harris Thu, 27 February 2020 at 14:21

    Mohammad Rakhel Rahadian Harris 2001577226 The article has good example ,good point, good tips for reset a work relationship after a disagreement.

    Reply
  5. Calvin Sioe Thu, 27 February 2020 at 19:35

    Nama : Calvin Sioe NIM : 2001551460/LA26 Menurut saya, ada beberapa cara untuk memperbaiki hubungan di tempat kerja, yaitu : -Mengakui adanya masalah yang terjadi antara Anda dan rekan kerja anda. -Mau mengakui kesalahan dan inisiatif untuk meminta maaf terlebih dahulu -Berkomitmen pada tujuan hubungan bersama. -Lebih banyak mendengar agar Anda dapat mengerti kondisi rekan kerja anda. Menjaga hubungan di tempat kerja merupakan hal yang sangat penting karena untuk mewujudkan visi dan misi perusahaan dibutuhkan kerja sama antara semua komponen yang ada di perusahaan tersebut.

    Reply
  6. Muhammad Ragil Kesuma Putra Thu, 27 February 2020 at 20:41

    Muhammad Ragil Kesuma Putra (2001583973) This is actually a good point, we need a break with our co worker from time to time. I could implementing this in my life

    Reply
  7. Fatah Panji Firmansyah Thu, 27 February 2020 at 21:47

    Name: Fatah Panji Firmansyah NIM: 2001579780 This article good because for me it is true if you have a bad work relationship maybe some small dispute you should face it not avoid it, with you directly faced it will make us professional and you should believe that it will make a good result of work if you engaged and try to reset your work relationship after a disagreement.

    Reply
  8. Fatah Panji Firmansyah Thu, 27 February 2020 at 21:48

    Name: Fatah Panji Firmansyah NIM: 2001579780 This article good because for me it is true if you have a bad work relationship maybe some small dispute you should face it not avoid it, with you directly faced it will make us professional and you should believe that it will make a good result of work if you engaged the problem and reset work relationship

    Reply
  9. Bobby Ryan Hartono Thu, 27 February 2020 at 22:34

    Sometimes when we work, we have to separate ourselves with work life and personal life. Since this will affect with company's progression and the way our employer will see. If left unchecked or unaddressed, there might be another dispute in the future. We can avoid this by keeping quiet with each other or not bring up the past incident and have a middle man to solve all the problems between parties

    Reply
  10. Irfan Arsyad Thu, 27 February 2020 at 23:56

    I think its important to manage our relationship with other , in my prespection it's okay to have a problem with your partner but don't bring your emotion to the job, keep doing what you were doing. if the situation is a little bit calm , you can discuss or set a meeting to set things up. "Good relationship makes your things better". This article is very interesting. but i hope there is other problem or issue not just worker and coworker but something unusual that can be discuss on the next article.(2001583752)

    Reply
  11. Afra Fri, 28 February 2020 at 14:31

    In my opinion, the article gives me tips when working relationships have drifted apart between colleagues. These are very important because in the future we will interact more often or work together to achieve goals. besides that with these tips may be able to reduce large conflicts, so if a small conflict has started, it must be resolved before continuing to become a big conflict. Thank you & Best Regards, Afra Soraya 2001600393 - LA26.

    Reply
  12. 2001578374 - Ghia Sakanti Narendrakanyaka Fri, 28 February 2020 at 14:46

    What I got from this article is if I or other people involved in a conflict, we should think for the future too, not only for now. When people are involved in a conflict, they must think that they are right so the situation becomes intense. So, they must take things aside and give both of them time to let their emotions cool while thinking into the future. Arrange the meeting with the people who are involved to the conflicts, talk about how important the relationship that you have, ask for forgiveness, and tell them you want to stop the conflict. That’s the way you make up with the people who have conflict with you.

    Reply
  13. Brian Richard Sat, 29 February 2020 at 20:18

    In my point of view, it is important to keep your relationship healthy especially with your own colleagues, sometimes due to a different opinion, someone might be angry and this could ended up hating each other. Letting our emotions cool really helps a lot in order to maintain our relationship.

    Reply
  14. Jemmy young Sat, 29 February 2020 at 22:53

    The article is great because the article teach us how to resolve conflict with coworker from two side. From two side i mean the article teach us how to resolve conflict with our coworker by introspection ourself and observe our coworker to resolve the conflict (from our side and from our coworker side) From all method to resolve conflict with coworker in this article, my favorite part and method is to resolve conflict we must remember our good memories with our coworker and realize that our job is not about me or just about our coworker but its about us because i think this method is a fundamental mindset to successfully work together with our coworker.

    Reply
  15. Melyana Pangestu Sun, 01 March 2020 at 01:44

    Melyana Pangestu 2001553112 I agree with this, because in business, we certainly deal or communicate directly with others, so that our business processes can run smoothly and achieve maximum results. But, everyone often has different thoughts and that's only natural. Therefore, if there are differences of opinion in business, that is normal. But, being different doesn't mean you can't find a way out.

    Reply
  16. Monica Vania Stephanie (2001590796) Sun, 01 March 2020 at 12:27

    I agree, when we have tense in our work and our team. We can’t push it that make it work, when you push it until it’s done. The result will be disappointed to you. Better you take some break to cool down yourself and your partner. When we have some disagreement we can say “I know that we’re not seeing eye to eye on this right now, and it is upsetting for both of us. But I’m optimistic we can work it out.” After that we can reset our emotion to other so it won’t make the result bad. We also have to remind our colleague that we care about the relationship and want to have more positive interactions in the future. When we do this, it will help to keep the current conflict from contaminating the relationship. (Monica Vania Stephanie Santoso – 2001590796 – LA26 – Strategic Management)

    Reply
  17. Wulandari Sun, 01 March 2020 at 13:09

    After reading the article I became more understanding about when disputes or tensions occur in the work that might occur due to differences of opinion, we are forbidden to pull ourself because it will increasingly make disputes become more bigger. It's good to meet again, schedule a meeting and re-establish relationships. It is important to always remind your colleague that you care about the relationship and want to have more positive interactions in the future. This may help to keep your current conflict from contaminating the entire relationship.

    Reply
  18. m ramadhan aditia Sun, 01 March 2020 at 17:57

    I think that's the best way to cool-off tension between colleagues if there had been a disagreement between each other. keeping spaces for days to set off what was left off, and cooling both emotions to have a clear mind on how to settle the problem politely.

    Reply
  19. Edo Roy Sun, 01 March 2020 at 20:21

    Edo Roy 2001547665 a break can cooldown the tension and its good to keep relationship between colleagues. this article also told me to stop when it is needed.

    Reply
  20. Verent Angelia Mon, 02 March 2020 at 01:05

    Dear Mr Nugroho, Thank you for the article! It is really inspiring and give me more knowledge how to deal with disagreement in work relationship. From the article, I can learn a few things: 1. If there is any disagreement or miscommunication with colleagues, don't run and solve it by talk and engage the others. 2. Give some clear explanation and willingness to maintain a good relationship by optimistic words 3. Let them rest, give some time to break and relax theirselves to ease the tension. 4. Let them know, the relationship is important to both of us. Name : Verent Angelia NIM : 2001609745 Class : LA26

    Reply
  21. Agustin Savira Mon, 02 March 2020 at 15:20

    Agustin Savira 2001604246 [la26] -- on this article, i learned that we have to deal with disagreement and try to resetting work-relationship. for the better future-work. it's means to be professional.

    Reply
  22. Maximilian Fajar Linus Wed, 04 March 2020 at 22:58

    Maximilian Fajar Linus - 2001574874 [LA26]. Menurut pendapat saya perselisihan atau perbedaan pendapat dapat terjadi dimana saja, oleh sebab itu kita harus dapat menyikapinya dengan bijak dan tidak mudah emosi, karena jika kedua belah pihak sama-sama emosi maka masalahnya tidak akan bisa diselesaikan. Jika merasa emosi coba untuk ambil waktu dan berpikir sejenak, lalu mulai diskusikan kembali ketika emosi sudah mereda.

    Reply
  23. ade hafizh arifta Sat, 07 March 2020 at 21:43

    Menurut saya tentang artikel diatas ialah: dimana saja pasti ada perbedaan pendapat, maka dari itu kita harus terbiasa dengan hal itu. Ketika hal itu terjadi harus disikapi dengan dewasa dan kepala dingin, jangan sampai hanya karena perbedaan pendapat dapat memecah belah teamwork yang sudan terbangun. Ade Hafizh Arifta - 2001596244 LA26.

    Reply
  24. Ferrel Enoch Ibrahim Sun, 08 March 2020 at 17:06

    Ferrel Enoch Ibrahim - 2001547671 - LA26. I've heard advice like "don't make decisions when you're angry". I think its related to this article. If you have conflict with your partner or someone else, before you take a decision take a break first, cool down first, when you are not angry you can speak what is on your mind with casually.

    Reply
  25. Mikail Akbar Mon, 09 March 2020 at 06:53

    Problems will always be there, even with colleagues, which is this thing cannot be disproved. But to every problem, there will always be a solution. This article is very useful to remind us that every problem between colleagues cannot be left for so long, there will always be a solution to a problem. This article provides several steps to fix the relationship, which is sometimes we all so confused to fix the problem.

    Reply
  26. Andi Wijaya - 2001592372 ( LA26 ) Tue, 10 March 2020 at 15:58

    Communication is the best way to solve a conflict, just talk and listen and handle the conflict the way the article is explained about.

    Reply
  27. jemmy young Sat, 14 March 2020 at 23:37

    Nama: jemmy young NIM: 2001624651 The article is great because the article teach us how to resolve conflict with coworker from two side. From two side i mean the article teach us how to resolve conflict with our coworker by introspection ourself and observe our coworker to resolve the conflict (from our side and from our coworker side) From all method to resolve conflict with coworker in this article, my favorite part and method is to resolve conflict we must remember our good memories with our coworker and realize that our job is not about me or just about our coworker but its about us because i think this method is a fundamental mindset to successfully work together with our coworker.

    Reply
  28. Bayu Pratama Wed, 18 March 2020 at 15:25

    Bayu Pratama 2001624336. Saya setuju dengan artikel ini, jika timbul masalah dengan rekan kerja ada baiknya kita komunikasikan, jangan mengambil asumsi pribadi yang dapat menimbulkan masalah yang lebih besar. Dengan tindakan seperti coffee break mungkin akan menurunkan tensi dari kedua belah pihak.

    Reply
  29. Daniel Nalom Thu, 19 March 2020 at 17:27

    Daniel Nalom - 1901497174 What i learn about this article was, there is a push and pull situation between our concern and for others after a disagreement. Communication progress and interest should be maintained and balance so both party could reach mutual agreement.

    Reply
  30. Raden Mikail Akbar Aulia - 2001615205 Fri, 20 March 2020 at 12:43

    Problems will always be there, even with colleagues, which is this thing cannot be disproved. But to every problem, there will always be a solution. This article is very useful to remind us that every problem between colleagues cannot be left for so long, there will always be a solution to a problem. This article provides several steps to fix the relationship, which is sometimes we all so confused to fix the problem.

    Reply
  31. Kevin Bangun Renaldy Sat, 21 March 2020 at 15:06

    Name : Kevin Bangun Renaldy NIM : 2001536453 I 100% agree with that article, because, as we know, anger dont finish problems, sometimes anger makes a big problem, thats important if we have high tension with someone, we take a break, then thinking about that carefully, and then, after all, when anger is reduce, we can talking slowly about the problem, im sure every problem have their own solving.

    Reply
  32. Erlyta Agustin Wilarto Wed, 01 April 2020 at 22:25

    Erlyta Agustin Wilarto - 2001598956 - Saya menyukai artikel ini karna ini adalah kenyataan yang sering terjadi kita ada kerjasama dengan teman / apun orang lain saat berbisnis dimana saat kita menemukan masalah dan ego masing masing maka biasanya akan terajadi kebencian dan menarik diri secara paksa, dan disini saya menjadi tahu sebagaimana yang seharusnya saya lakukan ketika saya menemukan keadaan / situasi berikut , bahwa saya harus menekan ego dan mencoba menyelesaikannya . Terimakasih atas artikelnya Pak

    Reply
  33. Sri Wulan H.T (2001548535) Wed, 08 July 2020 at 05:43

    Don't have a bad heart that holds grudges, be open minded and don't think too much about things you don't need to think about. And keep being friendly to others

    Reply